The Spear

  When Lazarus dies, he is wrapped up in linen clothes. It’s to cover, head to toe, the body of the dead. It was part of the embalming process. Spices and oils were used to keep the body from decaying and smelling too quickly. He steps out of the grave and Yeshua orders them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.” Today as I was spending time with Yeshua, he says to me, “The world beat and buried you. You were killed by them and then I called you back to life. Now take off the grave clothes and be who you are meant to be. Be who I have called you to be.” This struck me. Even Yeshua was wrapped in these grave clothes when they laid him in the tomb. But he left the cloth that was on his head and the linens still in the tomb. When his disciples saw him later, they didn’t recognize him because his true nature was shining through. He was physically being revealed as the person the Father had identified him as all along. We are said to have died with him and risen from the gr...

|| Return to Series Menu || << Previous Post in Series        Next Post in Series >>   I must admit, this series has been difficult to nail down. There seems to be so much that God is taking me through right now. I hardly have time to write it in my journal, let alone edit it for posting. On top of that, making it fit with the other parts. Well, frankly it looks like a mess to me. Hopefully he can use that mess to speak to some people. So, on that note, here’s what I’ve got.

This is what the lord spoke to me this morning. “People still think that I want everyone to just tell me what they want, and I’ll shower them with gifts. They forget the part where I tell them they will suffer for me. This is not just some cake walk. I am fighting a war. If you want a part in it, you better be ready to fight dang it.

This was something that the Lord called me to in a quiet moment. I have given a pledge to, "The flag of the United states of America" many times before. The Lord asked me where my allegiance lay. He asked me if I was loyal to him or loyal to America.  I had to face the fact that one cannot be loyal to 2 masters ( Matthew 6:24 ). I had to decide between patriotism, company loyalty, church loyalty, friend and family loyalty, and loyalty to the Kingdom of God. I had to stop fooling myself into believing they are or will be the same thing. I had to renounce my pledge of allegiance and take up a new one.  Here is what the Lord led me to promise. I am not ashamed to say that I knelt in my living room and gave this oath. If I can stand before a crowd with my hand over my heart, then I can kneel before the Lord.

My son was given a book the other day. It was a story that is pretty classic, but I hadn’t heard it in a long time. He brought it to me and asked me to read it. The Ugly Duckling.

A young girl sat in the cold waiting room. Her knee bounced nervously as she stared at the dingy, white wall across from her. Beside her sat an unseen being. His piercing, dark eyes stared at her with such intensity that one might shrink to the corner at the sight of it. The door opened, but the girl didn’t notice. An older woman with red hair and a thin frame went up to the woman behind the glass window. Their conversation was muffled and would have been hard to hear even if she had wanted to listen, but presently she was too distracted by her own fear to notice.

I bowed before my King and my Judge. Shame covered me. The Accuser stood beside me, a cruel smile on his lips and a finger pointed at me. “I have defiled that which you love. I have won and she stands accused. Who here can deny it? Who here would dare deny what she has done?” He looked to those assembled. “All here know her sins. All here are aware of how I put her shame on display. What can be done for her? Can she, even she, be redeemed?”

I was weary from being battled. I lay in the arms of the Lord. I had no energy. I had lost all desire. I had lost all will. Just then the enemy came upon me again. He slithered in upon the scene, and I saw him. I was so weary from fighting him day and night and night and day that I could not bring myself to move.

I have walked on a thousand sea shores. I have tread upon the streets of a hundred deserted cities. I have walked along the paths of my forbears, and I have seen what their hands have made. I have fallen to my knees at the sacred places where the works of my Lord were seen and celebrated. I have seen the faces of people I did not know. I have made friends of enemies and even enemies of those I once called friend.

The moment we are born in this world, we are born to something that is already dead. Our bodies are rotting around us. But when we come to God, through Christ, we die, and the Spirit brings our bodies back to life and lives in us. That is why the apostle Paul said, “It is not I who live but Christ in me.” We died!

Fear is one of my biggest battles right now. God has gotten me through so many things, but this is one thing I have struggled with for a long time. I get frustrated with myself because I know the bible says I was not given a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7) . Still, I face many things as a wife, a parent, a women, and a follower of Christ that I am afraid of.

Alright, time for a little honesty. I’ve been struggling with something lately. For a while now, I have been focused on how much God loves me. How much does He love me? Will He ever stop loving me? Does He love me more or less than that person? If I do more good things, will He love me more?

I run home to you. But they do not understand. “Run the race,” they say, “Run to the finish.” But where is the finish? When have I completed my race? Is it when I am old? No, because I see the wisdom of the old being put to good use no matter their age. Is it when I have finished some great task? No, because so long as I have breath there is more for me to do. Is it when I have made all my money and can live in financial peace? No, because such peace can be swept away. So to where do I run?

If you watch any amount of news, it can be concerning. Things seem to be out of control and frightening. We are living in a world of uncertainty. It would seem that the fabric of our world and our country is changing. Lately, black has been called white and white is black. The grey is fading, and there is no longer room to live in ambiguity. The difficult questions are being asked. Tough choices are forced to be made. Where will we fall?  

Humility is perhaps one of the most difficult lines we have to tread. It is defined as, “A modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.” (Source) I don’t know about you, but that definition makes me feel like I should strive to look down on myself in an effort to not put myself ‘over’ anyone else. But let’s look at what the bible says about humility. Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life. (Proverbs 22:4) I love this. This is the bible’s definition of humility and I would like to take a moment to unfold it for you.

!!New thoughts have been added to this post!!. Click here to check it out Living the resurrected life is what we who are redeemed are called to do. But what does it mean? We are called to live like Christ. But what does that mean? I don't know about you but I find it difficult to be that amazing all the time. Okay impossible. So what are we supposed to be doing?