The Spear

There once was a man who had gotten stuck in a storm. As the flood waters rose, he had to climb onto his roof for safety. He began to pray that God would save him. A while later a man in a small boat came up and offered him help. “No,” the man shook his head, “I’m waiting for God to save me.” The storm went on, and the water rose. A helicopter appeared, and a man was lowered down to the roof.

I am one of those rare people that cannot do anything without God. Some of you might be thinking, “Oh yeah, we all need God.” You would be correct my friend, but I really can’t do anything without Him. On my own I am unmotivated, bored, uninspired, depressed, selfish, and I can’t seem to succeed at anything. Everything I tried to do ended in failure before Him. People used to talk about me, and it would get back to me that everyone thought I was just one big mess-up. It was frustrating because I wanted to do so much. I was and still am a dreamer. But really, it only hurts to dream when all your dreams end in utter failure.

In a world where we are becoming more and more aware of the amount of waste, it is hard to imagine a place without it. It has become a baffling problem all over the world with what to do with it. We create so much trash and throw so much away, not considering where it is going to go, and what is going to happen to it. If you have ever seen a picture of a landfill, well, it’s kind of nasty.

At the beginning of March, God told Bethany that we needed to take a little vacation at the end of the month. He stated that we needed a break from the kids and really wanted some alone time with us to teach us some stuff and be romantic with us. A couple days later He gave us a $500 budget for this trip. We took this as "I am going to give you 500 extra dollars this month to go on this vacation". So, in faith, we planned the trip.

Fear is one of my biggest battles right now. God has gotten me through so many things, but this is one thing I have struggled with for a long time. I get frustrated with myself because I know the bible says I was not given a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7) . Still, I face many things as a wife, a parent, a women, and a follower of Christ that I am afraid of.

I pursue God like my life depends on it, and in truth it does. There have been moments; times in my life, when I thought that I could get by and that the goal was just to be “normal”. But let’s face it. While we are striving for average, we are missing a calling, a need, a God given desire in us to be “more than conquers” (Romans 8:37).

When I was younger I wanted to be in the military. I was fighter. I’ve always been a fighter. I wanted to personify that fighting spirit and protect the man to my right and the man to my left. Fighting was my obsession, and I began to build an image around that. I built that image off the soldiers and the ex-military I knew. Not to mention the countless war movies I watched. But in the end I felt more like I was fighting for an image more than anything else.