I am Afraid that I Should Not Be Afraid

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Fear is one of my biggest battles right now. God has gotten me through so many things, but this is one thing I have struggled with for a long time. I get frustrated with myself because I know the bible says I was not given a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). Still, I face many things as a wife, a parent, a women, and a follower of Christ that I am afraid of.


One of my biggest fears is that I do not hear from God. There I said it. This has been a big deal for me because there have been times when God has asked me to do things in obedience, and I have done them. So far they haven’t been anything too crazy, but it’s scary nonetheless, and I know that crazy things are coming.

I have had people ask me, “How do you know that it’s God and not you?” In those moments, I am filled with the Spirit, and I speak confidently. I know that it’s God speaking to me because He gives me revelation. I know because He tells me something and then it happens. I know because He speaks truth to me. I know because when I read the scriptures that same part of me comes alive and begins to rise up in me. “It’s Him, it’s Him. I know that it’s Him.”

Recently, in my battle with fear the Lord has given me two things. Alright, a lot of things but two things that stood out the most.

I had begun a fast and was really trying to focus on my struggle with fear. As I was in the kitchen that morning, I asked Jesus, “How did you know that you weren’t crazy, when the Father told you that you were His son and that you were the Messiah?”

His reply, “I had the Spirit of Truth. It confirmed to me that this was true. You have that same Spirit as well. You can know the truth.”

I cried when he revealed that to me. It was a moment of suddenly realizing that I could tell the difference between the truth and a lie. Guys, there are so many lies but only one truth. Did you ever play telephone as a kid? The first person says something in the ear of the next person, and that person whispers what they heard to the next person. By the time it gets around to the last person in line, it is usually nothing like the first statement. The truth is vital, and we need to know what it is. The enemy is a liar. Jesus said that when he lies he speaks his native tongue. He is such a liar that lies are his language! (John 8:44)

Another time when I was speaking to God about my apprehension he sat down, put his arm around me, and said, “You know, having faith, like being courageous, does not mean that you are not scared. It means that your conviction of the truth is greater than your fear.”

The word that is often used in the bible and translated into faith is emunah (I have added this in to help explain the Hebrew translation and background of the word. I have read over most of it but have not been able to do enough study on the other things on this sight to say that I fully trust it as a theological teacher. Please read with caution.) Emunah, more accurately translated, has to do with one’s own deep conviction. I love that God showed me this word in my time with Him and then used it again in encouraging me about my struggle.

Our faith is something that can be grown. As we walk with God and seek Him out, He will give us opportunities and moments that will grow our emunah. He continued to tell me that the goal is to grow my faith to the point that I no longer struggle with the fears that I am struggling with now.

We all struggle with fear at one point or another, but seek the truth. Speak the truth. You can know the truth. The Spirit of Truth is in you and can give you a greater conviction than the lies of fear. (John 16:13) 


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