Hidden

-
I have walked on a thousand sea shores. I have tread upon the streets of a hundred deserted cities. I have walked along the paths of my forbears, and I have seen what their hands have made. I have fallen to my knees at the sacred places where the works of my Lord were seen and celebrated. I have seen the faces of people I did not know. I have made friends of enemies and even enemies of those I once called friend.


I have fought a thousand battles. I have slain many foes. I have walked on the fields where my friend and my enemy lay side by side. I have felt the sting of betrayal, and I have heard the vomitus sound of Hatred calling. I have been wounded and seen Death not far off. It mocked me and would not take me.

 I have walked the halls of a kingdom I call home. I have sat in the presence of the King himself, and he knew me by name. I have seen the robes which adorn him and the tapestries which speak of his splendor.  I have seen his smile, and it is brighter and more precious than gold. I have been welcomed to sit at his feet that I might worship him with kisses beyond number. I have heard the angelic voices sing of him as he shows himself to be good and great and strong. I have seen power flow off of him like light and heat from the sun, and still, the sun in all its splendor, compared to him, is utterly scorned.

I have walked the garden more beautiful than the earth knows. From behind the lattice work and the ivy, I have heard my lover speak sweet words to me. I felt the touch of a hand that comforts and guides me, and I will not leave it. I have known the embrace of a husband more faithful and fiercer than any other. I have been kissed by the dew when I wake in the morning still wrapped in my lover’s arms.

I have done all this and more. Still, you will not find me. If you pass me, you would not know me. If you spoke to me, you would not imagine it. For to you, I look as all others. To you, I am no one of consequence. I am no better, in your eyes, than the wind sweeping past, barely brushing your cheek. What do I matter? But, as the wind goes, so I go, and you do not know if I have come or gone, but only you notice what has changed around you like the trees which signal a breeze has gone past. You did not know him, so you do not know me.


I am a warrior. I am a princess. I am a queen. I am a lover. I am an adventurer. I am foreign. I am a treasure. I am sought after. I am a hidden beauty. I am wealthy beyond measure. I am respected among my people. I am a leader. I am scarred. I am strong. But, to look at me, you would never know it.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A God in Our Own Image

-
Image
It has always been interesting to me how you can meet so many people that all claim to believe in the same god, and yet their views of him and the ways that they describe his character are strictly individualistic. Or we can call those descriptions very “telling.” Their view of him is often small and flat…simple. To so many, the idea of god is a one-dimensional character with next-to-no depth or meaning.  Now, I recognize and fully support the concept of god being an individual, and that each person knows him differently. But one distinct difference is when I meet people who only believe in god as long as he matches and agrees with all their accepted beliefs. Therefore, the only response upon meeting someone that doesn’t think the same way and has a concept of god that is different, is to assume that the other person simply doesn’t believe in god. How arrogant. How truly conceited.  I have heard things like, “If you are a Christian, you can’t vote for so and so.” “How can you ...
Read more

The Storm

-
Image
The last few weeks…well, the last month or so have been some of the most challenging. I seem to find myself in these places often. The comforts and “guarantees” of the world are stripped away and I find myself fighting for a breath as the waves of this dark world crash over me. The beautiful facade that money and privilege afford society is pulled back and I see Truth. I see this place for what it truly is; dark, ugly, angry, selfish, fearful. I am tempted to build up my walls and be like them. The desire to become cynical rises up, but there is something in me that still calls me to be tender.  I lost my grandmother this past summer. I watched her pass from this world. It was not pretty or peaceful. It was painful and hard. I knew that in order to help my family with her care I had to shut down a part of myself. I knew that I had to set aside my own loss and pain in order to walk through that place. On the other side of it, alone, I allowed the pain to hit me.  In obedience, ...
Read more

Religion vs. Real Life

-
Image
A few days ago my husband and I took the kids to the park. We were in an area that we were not familiar with. We don’t know anything about anything or anyone in the little town nestled in the Virginia mountains.  There, along a river, is a small park. We pulled up and saw another family there. Allow me to add that, it just so happened that on this day, I had the courage to wear shorts. I have struggled so severely with my self image, and obsessed over hiding myself out of fear, that I didn’t even own a pair of shorts until last year when I got some because I just couldn’t take the Texas summer heat anymore. Still, I would wear them at home most of the time. But today, I was feeling free. I put on my shorts and took my kids to the park.  When we walked up to the playset, I could see that the family was dressed in…well, let's just say they were dressed in a way that would be obvious to most that they are part of a specific Christian religious group. I have zero problem with them...
Read more