The Spear

The last few weeks…well, the last month or so have been some of the most challenging. I seem to find myself in these places often. The comforts and “guarantees” of the world are stripped away and I find myself fighting for a breath as the waves of this dark world crash over me. The beautiful facade that money and privilege afford society is pulled back and I see Truth. I see this place for what it truly is; dark, ugly, angry, selfish, fearful. I am tempted to build up my walls and be like them. The desire to become cynical rises up, but there is something in me that still calls me to be tender.  I lost my grandmother this past summer. I watched her pass from this world. It was not pretty or peaceful. It was painful and hard. I knew that in order to help my family with her care I had to shut down a part of myself. I knew that I had to set aside my own loss and pain in order to walk through that place. On the other side of it, alone, I allowed the pain to hit me.  In obedience, ...

Jesus of Nazareth, Enemy of The state, Executed For Treason April, A.D. 30  Jesus of Nazareth was executed today on the orders of the Roman State. Method of execution: Crucifixion. The charge under Roman law was treason, and under Herodian law blasphemy against the Temple. The evidence against this anarchist was so strong that authorities of both the Roman State and the Kingdom of Herod concurred with the arrest and execution, and he was subjected to trial by both governments. And in a rare uprising of spontaneous collective justice, the mass of people who were gathered for Passover called for his execution as well. The mob affirmed their loyalty to the state, chanting, "We have no king but Caesar." Friday's execution ended a career as an anti-government agitator with a long history of lawlessness. The family was in possession of falsified, illegal, and unsanctioned genealogical records which claim to indicate that Jesus was of royal lineage, and undermined the l...

I saw your struggle and I was angry with you but I now come to you in humility. Look at what the enemy has done to you? Look how low he has caused you to fall. But I say lift up your head prince of heaven. Look to the Son. Look to the one you were created to emulate.

This is what the lord spoke to me this morning. “People still think that I want everyone to just tell me what they want, and I’ll shower them with gifts. They forget the part where I tell them they will suffer for me. This is not just some cake walk. I am fighting a war. If you want a part in it, you better be ready to fight dang it.

OK, quick thought here. Maybe good for more analysis later. Why do worship teams lead worship from an elevated stage? When I was playing for the band in my youth group, I was told that we need to change the way we look at it. Here is what I was told.

This a piece of my journaling this morning. Careful, it's raw and unedited. "...You know this song is great (Psalms 46). I really love listening to it. It’s so passionate. It speaks to me on a warrior level. But, today I see another side. The truth is, I don’t feel like I’m at war. I look at this song as a dream or hope for “someday”. Like so many other things, I feel like I can’t be what I dream about. I feel like I’m struggling against my dream self and my waking self.

Just for context, I am sitting at my infant daughter’s bedside at Children’s Hospital as I write this. For anyone who has been unfortunate enough to have to go through something similar, you know that watching your child go through pain is one of the hardest things. You know that if it were possible you would be willing to go through everything for them. But that’s not really an option. The best we can do in moments like these is be the peace and comfort they need to get through it. Because truth be told, most of the time they are strong enough to come through. They just need us to remind them. I have heard the world’s narrative on what they think peace is. Apparently, flooding the streets, yelling, bringing chaos and strife and even danger is supposed to bring them peace. I don’t think I’ve heard anything so foolish. In the 70’s riots were held and peace signs became the symbol of those that apposed war. Peace on earth is a common desire among people, although, I’m not entirely...

Youth and beauty is something that fades either by death or the slow decay of time.  But God, who offers true beauty, offers something that does not fade. No, in fact, what He offers and creates in us is something like a bright gem that becomes more precious and priceless with time. We are set in a crown of historical value and represent a victory for our Lord. This is what we should pursue. This is what we should cling to.

I have found and cling to the One that gives life. In a world that is half dead and dying more every day how can I not offer all that I am to that life. So you will have to forgive me if I come across as radical or obsessed. But I will give my life, no matter what that means, for the One that gives life to the world.