Success Under Control

-






Today, I was sitting with Yeshua and discussing how I have been doing well. Throughout my life, I have struggled in everything. I struggled with chores, self-care, maintaining good relationships, getting work done, learning, accomplishing anything, going anywhere by myself, etc... It’s true that this learning process with him hasn’t been easy but I have managed each step by holding his hand and working to maintain eye contact. Lately, he has brought me to such a place that I have been able to, well, function. If you are like me, you have this fear (usually from experience) that good streaks can’t last forever. Eventually, you will fall apart. The longer I go without ruining everything or letting everything fall apart, the more nervous I become.


 As I was explaining this to him in my quiet time, I told him it was like when I was a kid and learning to snowboard. I would get going really fast and I would get scared and force myself to crash in order to stop. (I have problems, I know.) He smiled at me and said, “You are afraid of the success that comes with not making a mistake. That’s different from the success of having control of the situation.”

This concept blew me away. What? That’s a thing? I thought the point was not to mess up. But the point is to know what you are doing and why you are doing it. The success that comes from calmly accomplishing your personal goals that lead into bigger projects is what leads to a calm, confident success that you are in control of. But when we run around striving and beating ourselves up, we never seem to have control of what is going on. The world is in control. Our fears are in control. Our emotions are in control. We end up hurting ourselves and others around us. And, the greater the success we achieve this way the more stressful it becomes, because success inevitably involves more and more people the bigger and bigger it gets. The desperation continues. With the pattern of success comes with greater and greater struggle as we work to keep failure from taking out us and everyone around us. This is a thing in every gender, age group, financial status, or lifestyle. But a slow, steady growth based on hard work and personal growth can add up to a lot. I’m not perfect, I know that I still have a lot to learn but I am dealing with a strange new confidence that I can do more and more from here. I can push myself a little farther and keep my focus where it needs to be. I can work on all the things that I want to do and experience and grow without losing myself in the process.

If you are just starting your journey with him, it’s okay. Rest. Relax. It might be hard, but it gets better from here. Keep with it. Keep your eyes on him. He will lead you to do greater things than you ever thought you could, and it will all be for lasting purposes. He will provide the firm foundation that will keep even the tallest towers from crumbling.

If you feel yourself striving and struggling to keep up, then pause and turn your attention to him. There is a good chance that what you are fighting so hard to keep from falling apart is your own kingdom. Tread carefully because you should know that in the end no kingdom but his will stand.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A God in Our Own Image

-
Image
It has always been interesting to me how you can meet so many people that all claim to believe in the same god, and yet their views of him and the ways that they describe his character are strictly individualistic. Or we can call those descriptions very “telling.” Their view of him is often small and flat…simple. To so many, the idea of god is a one-dimensional character with next-to-no depth or meaning.  Now, I recognize and fully support the concept of god being an individual, and that each person knows him differently. But one distinct difference is when I meet people who only believe in god as long as he matches and agrees with all their accepted beliefs. Therefore, the only response upon meeting someone that doesn’t think the same way and has a concept of god that is different, is to assume that the other person simply doesn’t believe in god. How arrogant. How truly conceited.  I have heard things like, “If you are a Christian, you can’t vote for so and so.” “How can you ...
Read more

The Storm

-
Image
The last few weeks…well, the last month or so have been some of the most challenging. I seem to find myself in these places often. The comforts and “guarantees” of the world are stripped away and I find myself fighting for a breath as the waves of this dark world crash over me. The beautiful facade that money and privilege afford society is pulled back and I see Truth. I see this place for what it truly is; dark, ugly, angry, selfish, fearful. I am tempted to build up my walls and be like them. The desire to become cynical rises up, but there is something in me that still calls me to be tender.  I lost my grandmother this past summer. I watched her pass from this world. It was not pretty or peaceful. It was painful and hard. I knew that in order to help my family with her care I had to shut down a part of myself. I knew that I had to set aside my own loss and pain in order to walk through that place. On the other side of it, alone, I allowed the pain to hit me.  In obedience, ...
Read more

Religion vs. Real Life

-
Image
A few days ago my husband and I took the kids to the park. We were in an area that we were not familiar with. We don’t know anything about anything or anyone in the little town nestled in the Virginia mountains.  There, along a river, is a small park. We pulled up and saw another family there. Allow me to add that, it just so happened that on this day, I had the courage to wear shorts. I have struggled so severely with my self image, and obsessed over hiding myself out of fear, that I didn’t even own a pair of shorts until last year when I got some because I just couldn’t take the Texas summer heat anymore. Still, I would wear them at home most of the time. But today, I was feeling free. I put on my shorts and took my kids to the park.  When we walked up to the playset, I could see that the family was dressed in…well, let's just say they were dressed in a way that would be obvious to most that they are part of a specific Christian religious group. I have zero problem with them...
Read more