Love Like a River

I have spent my life pursuing Him. Ever since I went to Him, wounded and torn to pieces, and he healed me, I have sought the precious presence of God. He has been my everything.

Day in and day out I pray, worship, read, and communicate with Him. In all that time I have never found an extent to His love. I am frightened of love because I believe that as soon as I let myself enjoy it, it will be ripped from me. I never feel like it’s something I can keep. I feel like it is something that I must earn, and if I do something wrong or upset the other person, then they will stop loving me.

I have to face the fact that I am not perfect, and there are times when I don’t know what He had planned or what He wanted. I find myself constantly asking, “Are you mad? Did I do something wrong? Is this okay? I don’t want to make you upset with me.”

His response is a gentle smile and, “It’s okay. I love you.”

There have even been times when He has disciplined me and told me that what I did was not right. But, He holds me and lets me cry it out and reminds me that He loves me. He tells me that I have no idea how much.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by His love, and I feel it wash over me, and sometimes I’m afraid to go near it because I’m scared that I just haven’t earned it that day. In a world that makes you earn affection this is understandable, but how do we break through and just accept this love.

Well, to be honest, if any of you have an answer to this, please let me know. But, so far, for me, I found that it comes in gentle, small steps. It’s as though He is teaching me to walk. Sometimes we run, sometimes I crawl, and sometimes He carries me. Sometimes I fight Him and tell Him that He can’t love me and this is all wrong, but then I find myself in such need of Him that I go running back, broken heart in hand, begging Him to fix it and make it stop hurting.

I have the world’s greatest husband. It’s the truth. He is amazing, but even his love for me is not like this. I have never found a love like this. Not in my parents, nor my friends, nor my children. There is no love like this. It would be like comparing a light bulb to the sun. His love is so much greater, and so perfect. His patience with me is overwhelming.

So I’m with you. I know that it is hard to accept such great love. It is hard to believe that there is actually somewhere out there who isn’t going to take your heart and then bust it into pieces. But, it’s real. So just take a step closer every day. Get to know Him and you will see that His love washes over and makes everything new.

His love is like a river that flows endlessly. All around it, grass and flowers spring up. From it, trees find their life. Birds come to take shelter in the trees, and creatures rest near it. Those who are nourished by the water that He gives bear good fruit and give life because His life is flowing through them.  

God, my God, I love you. I am brought to my knees because you love me. There is no reason for it. You, in your grace, have taken notice of me and loved me and called me your own. I honor your love, and I give you love, because you first loved me. There is no greater, and you cannot be out loved. You deserve all praise because while you are great and powerful and mighty, your love is gentle and kind. Give me strength and grace to keep walking with you that I might know more and more of that rich love which gives life. Teach me to love like you. Teach me to be as you are so that other’s will know your love in me and give you praise. 

This cool Heart-shaped island, created by a river flowing around it, is actually Johnny Depp's Bahamas hideaway.